To Sing Frogs Chapter 26b

International terminal at the airport in Vladivostok

“She says they don’t take American Express,” Stass said after I handed the cashier my card. Ten minutes had elapsed since we joined the queue.

“There is an American Express sticker right there on the window!” I said while thumping my index finger on the glass to emphasize. Stass put my words into Russian.

“She says it doesn’t matter. They don’t take American Express.”

“Fine.” I snatched the card back from her and pulled out the next one in sequence.

“She says they don’t take Visa.”

“There’s a Visa sticker right next to the American Express one AND the MasterCard one!” This time I was trying to pound my finger through the glass.

Stass explained to the woman that our plane was leaving in twenty minutes and asked her to help us out. She didn’t even look up from her desk. “Nyet.”

“No credit cards. She needs cash.”

“I’m almost out of Russian cash.” I pulled out what remained of the hundred dollar bills. “Ask her if she can take dollars.”

“Nyet.”

I glared at the fourth sticker on the window while the woman frowned at her desk without looking up. It was a cartoon drawing with a smiling face on a chubby little airplane bearing an Aeroflot logo. “If we’re not smiling, it’s because we are working hard so you can smile.” It was printed only in English. I guess I wasn’t the first non-Russian to complain about bad service without a smile. “Come on!” Stass said as he quickly walked away. “There’s a bank over here,” he hollered back. “Do you want to argue or do you want to trade money?”

I wanted to argue. I needed to trade money. Just before we arrived at the airport bank I spied an automatic teller. “Stass!” I yelled as I pulled away from his path. I pointed at the cash machine and he turned back around to follow me. I slid my debit card into the slot and waited. For once I was glad the machine asked which language I wanted to communicate in. English.

            The machine sputtered and hummed while Stass looked over my shoulder. We waited. And waited. I looked back to where we came from and saw Anya and Bill playing with the girls while Amy cuddled Denney. Then I heard Stass say a single frustrated word in Russian. I turned back and saw my card hanging out of the machine. Now there were new words on the screen.

SORRY. THIS MACHINE IS TEMPORARILY OUT OF MONEY. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER.

“Let’s go!” Stass blurted. I followed him and we both ran into the bank. In the States people in a bank would probably be a little unnerved with two guys running in with one of them yelling. In Russia they just roll their eyes.

I couldn’t believe it. Evolution was supposed to take eons. Against all odds there was another single-file-line! There was no telling how fast this country might change if this line were to breed with the one in the hall. It would be like another Jurassic Park gone bad.

Stass grabbed my arm and rushed me up to the teller while continuing to speak loudly. I guess we verbally elbowed to the first place in line.

I didn’t bother to ask if I could do it on a card. I just handed the woman five Benjamins. She took them and began her investigation. Each was held up to the light and written on with a marker. Then she counted out the Russian notes and coins.

“Spaseeba!” I said to the woman as Stass grabbed my arm, pulling me sideways while I stumbled toward the door. “Spaseeba, Spaseeba, Spaseeba,” I was saying to the evolvers as I tripped along, trying to give thanks while Stass dragged me away. No one even bothered to look up and nod “you’re welcome.” Maybe in another four million years.

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