To Sing Frogs Chapter 32f

Sarah Simmons quilting in 2005

From the compassion side there was never a doubt about how Amy was drawn. Still, there were other considerations causing her grief. Those made her hesitate to raise the sails even though the anchor had been raised and I was waiting. There was another major concern for my wife. Amy knew the older siblings’ environments of abuse would bring her own past with them if we decided to continue. Each and every time they struggled it would drag her own childhood back to the front of her mind. She would be forced to deal with that nightmarish history of abuse again and again.

That wasn’t all. We had watched television specials and read books about things that often happened when adopting teenaged children with horrific pasts. We knew that Sarah’s struggles might be only a shadow of what could follow. It wasn’t just possible; it was probable that the older girls would wreak havoc on our serene home life. It was already beginning to tarnish. Our former—all but perfect—home had been the grandest goal of my wife’s combined efforts, the crowning accomplishment of her life, her most prized possession, and her monumental gift to her husband and children. This sum of what mattered most to Amy would need to be placed on the alter and burned if the older girls were to be given a chance.

It is who she is. My wife would make the sacrifice. Then, like the Biblical Job, she would be left only with her faith in God to restore even more than what He had required. Only Mysterious Way Believers can bring themselves to jump off such a cliff. It’s intriguing to me that more of them don’t splatter.

Amy had known since the discovery of the others that she really didn’t have a choice. For her whole life she had wondered why no one bothered to intervene with her own situation; why no one gave her a better life. There were aunts and uncles and even grandparents who had felt sorry for her. Unfortunately, none of them felt sorry enough to act.

My wife could never be so calloused. Though it would hurt her, though it would make things difficult for her other children, she would risk it. Amy had engineered and constructed her home and family for the purpose of making lives better. Acts such as an attempt to rescue the older siblings was the very purpose of her grand creation. No matter the cost, these older girls would get a chance at a reasonable life.

We stood up for a long embrace. Then we did the dishes.

 

 

“Papashka, yoo goe Rosha?”

“Yes Princess. I’m going to Russia.”

“Why yoo goe Rosha, Papa?”

I paused without looking at her. Then I continued to fold my dress shirts into the suitcase. “… I’m going to see Stass and Anya.”

“Yoo see Yula ee Marina?”

            I hadn’t planned on it. Oh, man. This could get hairy.

When I didn’t respond she continued. “Aye geev preesent Yula ee Marina.”

            I was afraid of as much.

“Aye tyel Mama Aye geev present Yula ee Marina. Mama tyel mee we gyet present. Mama saye tyel Papa taek preesent Rosha.”

I sat on the bed, picked up my daughter, and placed her next to me. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. “Mama said she’d help you buy presents for Yula and Marina.”

“Yeas.”

“You want me to take the presents and give them to your friends.”

“Yeas.”

I still couldn’t look at Sarah while she gazed at me intently. I pressed on my eyelids with a thumb and forefinger. “Okay. I’ll give the presents to Yula and Marina.” I wiped the two drops away with my thumb and finger as I removed my hand from my face. I leaned over and kissed Sarah on the forehead. “Go play.”

 

 

“There you are!”

“Here I am,” I responded as I sat on the floor. I was leaning up against the wall and holding two stuffed bears on my raised knees.

“You don’t like to be in here. I’m surprised I found you.”

“I didn’t expect to find myself here either. I guess I did, though.”

Amy smiled. “Are you ready to go to the airport? The kids are all loaded up and waiting.”

“Yeah. I just need to put these in my luggage,” I said while lifting the bears. Then I stood and looked at them one more time before walking out of the room under a canopy of Mod Podge butterflies.

 

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